The Complete Emoji Texting Guide for Every Age๐Ÿ“ฑ๐Ÿ’ฌ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘ง๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿผ

emoji-granny

I read an enlightening Rupert Murdoch publicationย where a momย kept sending phallic emoji to her son in dotingย texts, and heย was understandably very confused. This is the kind of emoji faux pasย that inspires coke-addled fantasies and cinematic prowess alike.

Rather than berate well-meaning emoji beginners with traditional advice,ย thisย tutorial attempts toย bridge the generational gap by suggestingย usefulย emoji textsย forย every decade of life. They range from humorous to downright depressing. Maybe we really do get wiser with age…

Myย initial inspirationย came from Diana Hill’s incredible emoldji to better reflect what people over 50 would like to express using the medium.

Baby

Getting Away with Everything

๐Ÿ˜– ๐Ÿ’ ๐Ÿผ ย Bartender, more milk!

๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿญ HOLD ME!

๐Ÿ˜ช ๐Ÿ’ค ๐Ÿ› ๐Ÿ˜ฉ ๐Ÿค’ ๐Ÿ˜ญ Finally going to bed? Don’t get too cozy. I just started crying again!

โš ๏ธ ๐Ÿ’ฉ ๐Ÿ‘ฌ ๐Ÿ’ธ ๐Ÿค” ๐Ÿ““ Mess up potty training and you will alterย the course of myย psychosexual development forever

๐ŸŽฎ ๐Ÿ•น๐Ÿ“ฑLet me play with the iPad real quick

๐Ÿ•ด ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿ•ฏ๐Ÿ•ฏ๐Ÿ•ฏ๐Ÿ•ฏย Can I have a valet for my 4th birthday?

๐Ÿ“– ย ๐Ÿ’‰ ๐Ÿ˜ก ๐Ÿ”ช If you read me one moreย Brothers Grimm story, I’ll worshipย David Cronenberg

๐Ÿ”š ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ‘ง๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ“ธ ย ๐Ÿ’ป ๐ŸŒŽ ย Posting embarrassing photos of me on Facebook qualifies as child abuse.

Teens

Prepare to Cringe

โคด๏ธ ๐Ÿ†™ TURN UP!

๐Ÿ”ช ๐Ÿ SLAY

๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป ย ๐Ÿ‘‘ YAS QUEEN

๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘ง ย Fam

๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ‘ฏ ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿผ Basic

๐Ÿ”ฅ ๐Ÿ’ฏ It’s lit!

๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ โœ… ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿผย That’s ode gucci

๐Ÿšฌ ๐Ÿƒ ย ๐Ÿ’จ โœŒ๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ ย ๐Ÿš€ ๐ŸŒ ย  We cyphed and got totallyย smacked

๐Ÿ’ฌ ๐Ÿ™‡๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿผ I curved him and dubbed his sh@#/Nope out!

๐Ÿ’ฉ ๐Ÿ“ฒ Mupload that ishย (middle-aged Buzzfeed writer variation)

๐Ÿ‘Ÿ ๐Ÿ’ฐ Swag moneyย (either going through midlife crisis: see 40s section, or 12-year-old boy on Instagram)

๐Ÿ˜œ ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ” ๐Ÿ•๐Ÿฆ YOLO (ironically)

๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป ย ๐Ÿ†’ ย On fleek! (ironically)

๐Ÿ˜ป ๐Ÿ’˜ Bae (so 2013)

20s

More Growing Pains

๐Ÿค“ ๐Ÿ”ฉ ๐Ÿ“„ ๐Ÿ’ฉ ๐Ÿšฝ ๐Ÿ˜ฑ Screwed for finals

๐Ÿ†˜ ๐Ÿน๐Ÿธ ๐Ÿ˜’ ย Come save me, I’m at the bar!

๐Ÿ“บ ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ’‹โ€๐Ÿ‘ฉ ๐Ÿ›Œโ“ Netflix and chill?

๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿป๐Ÿšช ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ’‹โ€๐Ÿ‘ฉ โœ‚๏ธ ๐Ÿ‘… ๐ŸŒฎ โ€ผ๏ธ Knock before entering #LUG

๐Ÿธ๐Ÿธ๐Ÿธ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ˜ท ๐Ÿš— ๐Ÿ˜ต ๐Ÿ˜ด ๐Ÿ˜ณ Just barfedย in my Uber

๐Ÿ™„โ˜๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ”ฎ I told you so!

๐Ÿซ ๐Ÿ˜ˆ ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿณ ๐Ÿ’ฆ THIRSTY

๐Ÿ˜‹ ๐Ÿ• ๐Ÿ“บ ME TIME/Cozy night in

๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‘– ๐Ÿคณ I’m feeling myself in these jeans

๐Ÿ’ณ ๐Ÿซ ๐ŸŽ’ ๐Ÿ’ธ ๐Ÿ˜ฃ ๐Ÿฆ Broke AF

๐Ÿšท ๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿป I’m so over having roommates

๐Ÿ™‡๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ˜ฉ ๐Ÿ’ Everyone I know is getting married!

๐Ÿ“‘ ๐Ÿ‘ฐ๐Ÿฝ ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ’€ ๐Ÿค• ๐Ÿค’ Am Iย gonna be okay?

30s

The IDGAF Years Part 1 #Adulting

๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿฝโฌ…๏ธ ๐Ÿ“ฑโŒ ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป Swipe left!

๐Ÿ“… ๐Ÿ”š ๐Ÿค” ๐Ÿ“ ๐Ÿ˜ญ โžก๏ธ ๐Ÿค— ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป ย Finally done withย therapy. Ready toย live my best life!

โ›”๏ธ ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿผ๐ŸŒฑ ๐Ÿฅ ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โš•๏ธ Mom, I’m not ready to have kids. My houseplant is dying!

๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿป ๐Ÿด ย ๐Ÿ•ณ Maybe I don’t need a Mr. Darcy?

๐Ÿ“ด๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿป๐ŸŒŽ No FOMO

๐Ÿ†• ๐Ÿ›‹ Will you pick new furniture with me from somewhere that’s not IKEA?

๐Ÿ’‹ ๐Ÿ˜ป ๐Ÿ˜Š ๐Ÿ’ž I accept myself completely, just as I am.ย I accept myself completely, just as I am.ย I accept myself completely, just as I am…

๐Ÿฅƒ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿผ ๐ŸŽž ย โžก๏ธ ๐Ÿท๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿฝ ๐Ÿ“Š ๐Ÿป Tradingย vodka cranberry for a single glass of red wine and Theo James for a socially-ineptย accountantย with dad bod.

๐Ÿ’๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ’„ ๐Ÿ‘š ๐Ÿ‘ข ๐Ÿ‘› ย ๐Ÿ‘€ โฐ ๐Ÿ–ฅ I’ve finally found my personal style after countless man-hours of browsing Pinterest and Instagram.

โ›”๏ธ ๐Ÿ‘— ๐Ÿ‘ก ๐ŸŒบ ๐ŸŒธ ๐Ÿ’ ๐Ÿคณ ๐Ÿ“ฒ Coachella? I’m too old for that sh!#

40s

Behold the Midlife Crisis. Terribly Depressing!

๐Ÿ“ˆ ๐Ÿค‘ ๐Ÿ“‰ It’s the economy, stupid!

๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ• ๐Ÿˆ Can’t teach an old dog new tricks!

๐Ÿ’” ๐Ÿ’ ๐Ÿ˜ก ๐Ÿ˜ซ ๐Ÿ˜ค BRBย marriage in shambles and everything is a lie

โ›”๏ธ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿฝ ๐Ÿท ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป ๐Ÿšฌ ๐Ÿ‘’ย Mother, I do not need a blind date. Particularly not with some verbally incontinent spinster who drinks like a fish, smokes like a chimney, and dresses like her mother.

๐ŸŒƒ ๐Ÿก ๐Ÿ’ค I don’t want to stay out too late

๐Ÿ›… ๐Ÿ’ผ ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿฝ More baggage than a 747/ Paris Hilton in the Riviera/a drag queen on a road trip

โ›น๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ‹๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿšด๐Ÿผ ย Fighting slowing metabolism with a gym subscription

๐Ÿ›ก ๐Ÿ—ก ๐ŸŒย As I got older I looked at the world and I realised, we need armour.

50s

Midlife Survivorย Aftermath

๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ’ฒ๐Ÿช ๐Ÿ›’ ๐Ÿ› ๐Ÿ’บ ๐ŸšŒ ๐Ÿš… Senior discounts, here I come!

๐Ÿ˜ผ ๐Ÿ˜Ž ๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿผ ย ๐Ÿ˜‰ Sorry,ย I’m too old! (translation: I don’t wanna!)

๐Ÿ˜œ ๐Ÿ‘ง๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ˜  Youth is wasted on the young

๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘ง ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป The kids are alright

๐Ÿ’ฟ ๐ŸŽต ๐ŸŽถ ย โน ๐Ÿ˜’ Who in their right mind would listen to this crap?

๐Ÿ‘ค ๐Ÿ‘€ ๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ” ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป The invisible cloak of old age keeps sexual harassment away

๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿป๐Ÿก ๐Ÿ•ต๐Ÿป I don’t give a hoot what theย neighbors say!

โณ ๐Ÿ•‘ ๐Ÿ•“ ๐Ÿ•– ๐Ÿ•˜ ๐Ÿ—“ Back in my day…

๐Ÿ™ ๐Ÿ˜ฌ ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ช ๐Ÿ’ญโ“I wish I could remember that far back. What was your question again?

60s

Introspection and Arthritic Fun

๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ โœŠ๐Ÿป The kids have families of their own now… Maybe I’ll run for president.

๐Ÿ‘ฃ ๐Ÿ˜ž ๐Ÿค• My arthritis is acting up again

๐ŸŽฐ ๐Ÿ’ธย ๐Ÿ‘ช ๐Ÿฌ BRB spending the kids’ inheritance money like there’s no tomorrow

๐Ÿ˜™ ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ ๐ŸŽค ๐ŸŽธ ๐Ÿคฆ How was yourย One Dimension concert, honey?

๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿ‘ฅ ๐ŸŽจ ๐Ÿ’Ÿย We’re all works of art in progress

๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ‘” ๐Ÿ’ผ Why should I stop working? If I do, I’ll die and it’ll all be finished.

๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ™ƒย The trick in life is learning how to deal with it.

๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ“”ย If you’re going to do a memoir, then it’s sort of at this age – in your late sixties or seventies – that you do it. I don’t understand people who do memoirs when they’re 20.

๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿผย ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ’ย The hardest period in life is oneโ€™s twenties. Itโ€™s a shame because youโ€™re your most gorgeous and youโ€™re physically in peak condition. But itโ€™s actually when youโ€™re most insecure and full of self-doubt. When you donโ€™t know whatโ€™s going to happen, itโ€™s frightening.

70s

Personal Transformation and The IDGAF Years Part 2

๐Ÿ‘„ ๐Ÿ˜ฌ ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป Bring me my set of teeth, will you?

๐Ÿ’ญ ๐Ÿ’Š Don’t forget my memory meds!

๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป ๐ŸŒ ๐Ÿ˜ โ‰๏ธย Let’s all get demented!

โ˜€๏ธ ๐ŸŽฒ ๐Ÿ€„ ๐Ÿ“ ๐ŸŒ โ“ U up 4 a game of Backgammon/mahjong/bingo/golf?

๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ˜‡ย I’m not giving in to anyone else’s idea of how I ought to feel and look at 70. ‘Retirement’ is not a word I can evenย visualize.

๐Ÿ‘€ ๐Ÿ‘ฅย ๐Ÿคท ๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿผย You canโ€™t control how other people see you or think of you. But you have to be comfortable with that.

๐Ÿ˜” ๐Ÿ“šย We tell ourselves stories in order to live

๐Ÿ‘ง๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ˜ˆย If Iโ€™d had children and had a girl, the first words I would have taught her would have been โ€œf*** offโ€ because we werenโ€™t brought up ever to say that to anyone, were we? And itโ€™s quite valuable to have the courage and the confidence to say, โ€œNo, f*** off, leave me alone, thank you very much.”

80s

Achieving Digital Fame by Being a Cool Grandma

๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ“ฑ๐Ÿ“ท ย Time to reinvent myself as an Instagram celebrity!

๐Ÿ—ฃ๐Ÿ‘‚๐Ÿป๐Ÿ”‡ Do I think what, hon?

๐Ÿ–ฅ ๐ŸŽญย I think most people are actors. Thereโ€™s fakery going on, donโ€™t you think?

๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿค˜๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ˜ โœŒ๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ˜Žย Iโ€™m not an old person. Iโ€™ve never been an old person. I just do my thing.

๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปย ๐Ÿคณ ๐Ÿ“ฒย I think that high school kids and college kids and even grade school kids know who I am and want pictures with me. Why? Because they all want me to be their grandma! They also want to be like me when they get to be my age.

๐Ÿ‘ต๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ’– ๐Ÿ‘ฆ๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ‘ง๐Ÿปย Oh, I just love young people. Iโ€™ve got young people around me all the time.

๐Ÿ‘™ ๐Ÿ’ ๐Ÿ†™ ๐Ÿ‘†๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿป ๐ŸŒ โฌ‡๏ธย If you’re over a certain age, you’d better keep your bra on because nothing’s worse than saggy duds

๐Ÿšซ โšฐ ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป ย ๐Ÿพ ๐Ÿ˜†๐ŸŽˆ ๐ŸŽ ๐ŸŽ‰ ๐ŸŽŠ ย I don’t believe in funerals. I believe in celebrating life, and showing people, while they’re alive, how much I care about them

90s

Social Disapproval and Bitter Snobbery

๐Ÿ˜ง ๐Ÿšฐ ๐Ÿ’ฆ ๐ŸŒŠ ย ๐Ÿ‰ โ˜•๏ธ ๐Ÿšพ ย I suffer from dehydration and I know what awful things it can do.

๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ‘€ ๐Ÿ‘ฅ ๐Ÿ’ญ ๐Ÿณ ๐ŸŒฏ ย I don’t look at social mediaย or think about what I had for breakfast, it’s ridiculous.

โ›”๏ธ ๐Ÿท ๐Ÿฃ ๐Ÿฟ ๐ŸŽฅ ย โŒ›๏ธ I haven’t dated in 68 years.

๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ ๐Ÿค– ๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿฝ Everybody today is like a robot, and I don’t want to be part of that.

๐Ÿš“ ๐Ÿš— ๐Ÿ—ฝ ๐Ÿ™ ย โ„๏ธ ๐ŸŒจ โ˜ƒ๏ธ ๐Ÿšถ ๐Ÿšถ ๐Ÿšถ ๐Ÿšถ If you walk down the street in New York in the winter, all the young ladies look alike.

๐Ÿ™Ž๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ“ฑ โžก๏ธ ๐Ÿš People seem to live vicariously through other people and other things, and that’s why they are all becoming empty shells.

๐Ÿ˜ฟ ๐Ÿ˜• ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ’€ You hardly meet anyone with a soul anymore

100

Becomingย a Treasure Trove of Wisdom

๐Ÿ“ฐ ๐ŸŽ‚ย ๐Ÿคทย I don’t care about my birthday one bit!

๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿฝ Bye Felicia

โ›”๏ธ ๐Ÿฑ ๐Ÿ’ฆโšฑย Don’t let the cat piss in my ashes

โ˜ ๏ธ โšฐ ย What is Iron Maiden, sweetie?

๐Ÿ”‘ ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ ๐Ÿ† ย My secret to a long life has been staying away from men. They’re just more trouble than they’re worth.

๐Ÿ‹ ๐Ÿด ๐Ÿฒ โŒ ๐Ÿ’’ ๐Ÿ‘ฐ๐Ÿป ย Get plenty of exercise, eat a nice warm bowl of porridge every morning and never getย married.

๐Ÿ˜ซ ๐Ÿ˜ด ๐Ÿ• ๐Ÿ•’ ๐Ÿ•” ๐Ÿ•™ย I am tired and take naps as many times as I can

๐Ÿท๐Ÿซ I have always loved a glass of sherry and good food. My favourite is chocolate blancmange

๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ง ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿฝ ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป Having adult children makes you look 100 years old. I don’t want that.

 

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